Simplest Reward System Ever for Kids Positive Behaviour
Let me put my thoughts in the open…
I am not a fan of rewarding kids' E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E GOOD BEHAVIOUR.
Aside from the fact that it is going to be COSTLY…obviously with money, time, and attention, it could unwittingly cost our child’s positive growth over time.
I find it a bit empty when we have to voice overstated words, like “Good job” and “Well done”, to every single good deed over and over again without much sincerity.
Honestly, it bothers me every time I find myself in that trap.
When my kids were younger, I also didn’t root the practice of enticing kids with money or promises to deliver everyday tasks.
It’s not that I discount our kids’ actions but I just want to make sure to intentionally acknowledge them when deserved.
Responsible parenting is not straightforward. It is a thoughtful effort.
Unfortunately, this is one of those life skills that were not explicitly taught in the years we spent in schools. We’re expected to find our feet when we become one and operate based on the habits we learned from our parents or other parents around us.
Like any other life skill, it’s a continuing work. My hubby and I are in constant work to become better responsible parents to our two lovely blessings.
We all are…I suppose.
One of those challenges of being a responsible parent is how to encourage positive behaviour at home and beyond home. Making it fun and exciting for our children not just to remember it today but also tomorrow for the bright future ahead of them.
CONTENTS:
What's the Easiest and Most Effective Reward System to Use?
How Does the Cottie Reward System Work?
Why Reward Good Behaviour?
“Reward the behaviour you want repeated…” - Larry Winget
Rewarding positive behaviour encourages that behaviour to be recurrent until it becomes natural. It is one of the most effective psychological approaches in promoting positive reinforcement of good human behaviour.
It also helps boost our kids' morale and confidence and strengthens parent-child relationships.
What's the Easiest and Most Effective Reward System to Use?
As an add-on to our day-to-day affection and reward praises, there are different types of behaviour reward systems you can implement at home.
It varies from using a colourful rewards chart with all the pretty stickers that kids love to stick on as soon as they finish a task…to a simple jar (to be) filled with marbles, sticks or cotton balls as points for their good behaviour.
Just pick and try the ones that will be suitable for your home.
When my little buddy requested a dojo system at home…I’ve turned to Google and came across this cotton ball jar reward system.
I knew right away this was the system that would perfectly suit our kids and our parenting style. It was so easy to manage and was very effective too.
As conscious parents, we want to keep the sincerity and rawness of our kids’ actions in response to positive behaviour practice at home.
To foster this intent, we decided to incorporate this easy-to-use and maintain cotton ball jar reward system which we fondly named Cottie Reward System, coined by our littlies who love to give nicknames to everything they enjoy. This reward system goes hand in hand with the kids’ positive behaviour for learning the Home Dojo Tool.
Our kids both filled their cottie (my kids’ term for their cotton ball points) jars so many times and eagerly claimed their rewards.
This was one of the most effective reward systems we implemented at home, together with the home dojo system.
I must say, the kids were very supportive of these positive behaviour tools which helped our lives, as parents, a whole lot easier!
However, we did acknowledge it is vital to re-evaluate what behavioural reward system will work as kids get older.
How Does the Cottie Reward System Work?
Kids will ONLY earn cottie for their special (potentially unexpected) and goodwill actions. These are special actions related to their Home Dojo tasks or any other good behaviours of their own accord.
Rewards will only be given when they fill their jars according to cottie points they claim - 20 points, 25 points, and 30 points. The higher the points, the better the reward for them.
The rewarded kid will draw from the cottie rewards jar depending on the points he/she wishes to claim. The rewards are colour-coded for ease of reference.
What Rewards to Give?
As for the rewards, we tried not to involve as much physical money as we can but instead EXPERIENCE...I personally believe in rewarding oneself with experiences rather than material things.
No one can take it away, it stays with you.
I worked with my little buddy and little missy to define the rewards they are happy to work for. This took a couple of alterations over time based from their preferences.
I was actually surprised by some of the rewards they came up with! Very unexpected.
At first, the agreed mechanics was to draw the reward lots from the jar. However, over time they grew fondness for specific rewards over the rest of the prizes they could claim.
As a result, we gave them the liberty to choose the points and the awards they wanted to earn.
Besides, they worked hard for it!
Guess what those were
“No Chore Day” comes at the top of the list and Book Coupons is second.
Discuss the rewards with your kids and list down the things that will encourage them to do positive behaviours.
Cottie Rewards System (Earlier version)
How to Make a Cottie Reward Jar?
Setting up a Cottie Reward Jar is very easy and costs you nothing as the materials are most likely available in your home.
Remember this: It’s not about the resources, it’s about the resourcefulness.
Materials:
Recycled glass jars/ bottles — Pick the size of a jar that is just right for this purpose. Feel free to use plastic jars as you see fit. I used the sundried tomato jar from Coles. Collect as many jars as you need. I used 3 jars.
Coloured papers — Artwork papers or Post it or Sticky Notes
Printer/ Ballpen/ Texter — You can opt to print the rewards on paper or write it yourself
Cotton balls
Jar labels
Optional: See DIY label
1. Label the jars.
You can use a label maker or a texter.
For a much more fun approach, let the kids give nicknames to their hardworking cottie jars and let them design it.
Jeff the Jar for little buddy and Jobie for little missy. And Cottie Rewards as the home for their incentives.
2. Write down the rewards on Post-it or sticky notes.
If you don’t have a printer at home, you can also write down the rewards on a small piece of paper according to the varying cottie points the kids agree to earn.
If you wish to go this way, colour-code them for ease of reference.
Otherwise, you can make use of a single-coloured paper or note.
3. Locate the jars in a place where visible enough to see but hard enough to reach by the kids.
In the earlier months, I put the jars on top of our fridge, so kids could see how much their jars were getting filled. But, later on, we moved it to a much safer place in the house but easy enough to access. We never had an issue with our kids accessing them and filling their jars without our consent.
See what will work for you and your kids.
The jars are now ready for action!
4. Fill the jars with cotton balls as soon as good actions are on the roll!
If you find other fun materials to use than cotton balls, feel free to alter them. Just bear in mind that little ones will be using them so just be mindful of their safety implications (e.g. choking hazards, etc).
My kids loved recounting their cotties every time they earned a new one to make sure they were not that far from claiming a new reward.
Cotton Ball Reward Jars
CONCLUSION:
It is imperative to note that any system or tool you apply with your children will only be successful if implemented consistently.
The onus is on us, parents, to be more attentive to our kids’ day-to-day actions and to be thoughtful in acknowledging them.
Rewarding kids’ good behaviour is a great and fun approach to communicating what we expect from them as good individuals.
For best results, reward the good behaviour immediately after the action and be specific in acknowledging your kids’ actions and efforts.
Positive behaviour rewards if executed properly, along with positive behaviour for the learning system, will be an effective way to train our kids to become happy and resilient human beings.
